a friend once told me that if you focus on all of the things beyond your control, the things that don't quite go your way, you'll eventually miss out on the subtleties that truly mean the most. when i got out of bed this morning, i made a promise to myself to focus on the positive, the unexpected, the things that matter.
i spent the day with my father and talked to him as if it were the last day i would ever talk to him. i expressed my fears and my secrets, and it was perfect and amazing. we connected in a way that we haven't connected in a long time, laughing over french fries and diet cokes. i hugged my mother for a long time and promised to bring her my homemade coconut cookies. i challenged myself and ran four and a half miles. i poured over family albums and saw how much we've changed over the years, how much i've changed. i sat at a coffee shop by myself and read. i like this life, even if i don't get everything i want. i thought about the things that matter to me and the things i need to work on, in order to continue to grow through honesty, gratitude, and acceptance.
i'm enjoying the process of getting older. i am no longer who i was one year ago. i feel more like myself than i have in a long time. tonight, i will wear a pretty dress and go out dancing.
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