a couple of weeks ago and you're still missing...

for the first time since we started spending time together, i wanted to go home and didn't want to lay next to you.

i didn't want it to be about you. i wanted it to be about us.

i wanted to hug in the rain. i wanted to hold hands and kiss over cups of gelato. i wanted to fight over ghosty and fall asleep.

but tonight, i only saw glimpses of the you i like so much. tonight, for the first time, i began to wonder if i was the one you wanted to be spending your time with.

i pouted in the dark, watching shadows dance across the room, staring off into space.

you lay next to me, half asleep. all i could hear was the sound of cars speeding by on the wet asphalt and your deep breathing.

i lay there defeated, wanting me to be enough to make it okay, but i wasn't, so i got up.

you apologized and i attempted to hide my disappointment as i put on my cardigan and gently closed the door behind me.

all i wanted was to spoon with you, to feel your forearms against my body, and have you breathe into the back of my neck.