indulgence.

yesterday was a beautiful day spent with family and you. i haven't met a "you" in a while. a day of indulging in food, hugs, kisses, and conversation. it felt like a day of chilled strawberries dipped in heavy whipping cream, chocolate cake and caramel. 

i can still feel the sunshine on my face as we drove around. i can still taste the apple pancake and eggs we shared. i can still see your smile as you looked down at me. i can still feel the comfort of the hug before you left. when i got home, my white, cotton blouse was wrinkled from the intensity of the day. it made me smile. when i took it off, i didn't unbutton it, i just wiggled out of it, pulled it over my head, and placed it on my chair. i sat in my bra and skirt for a while and admired my blouse. the wrinkles tangible evidence of the embraces we shared. 

i haven't been held, like really held, in a really long time, almost a year. the previous "you" used to pick me up and give me amazing hugs in his kitchen. when i cried, i used to sit on his lap and he'd kiss my hair. it's different with the new "you". i lean and tiptoe and you hold me for a long time, then you let go and hug me some more. when i cry, you hold me close and ask me to breath you in. i don't mind doing that.